My Journey to a Rock-Solid Marriage Through Premarital Counseling in Oklahoma

My Journey to a Rock-Solid Marriage Through Premarital Counseling in Oklahoma

As an engaged couple ready to take the next step and tie the knot, my fiancé and I wanted to make sure we built the strongest marriage possible right from the start. Even though we had already been together for 5 years, we chose to invest in premarital counseling to gain skills and a deeper understanding before our big day. Looking back now, I’m so glad we did! Here’s my story of how premarital counseling in Oklahoma equipped us for an amazing marriage that can stand the test of time.

Why We Chose Premarital Counseling

While my fiancé and I felt like we already knew everything about each other after being together through college and into our careers, we decided premarital counseling could still help strengthen our relationship in key ways:

It’s always good to understand your partner even more deeply before marriage

We wanted tools to communicate effectively, especially when disagreements happen

Building skills for conflict resolution was important to us

Having a space to openly discuss tricky topics would be helpful before combining lives

It could illuminate potential issues to tackle ahead of time rather than later down the road

We loved each other immensely but knew marriage was still a big transition

On the recommendation of some close married friends, we decided to be proactive and sign up for premarital counseling. Even the most compatible couples can benefit from guidance before saying “I do!”

The Premarital Counseling Process

We attended 6 sessions with a licensed counselor in Oklahoma City who specialized in premarital counseling Oklahoma. Here’s an overview of the topics we covered and tools we gained during the process:

Assessments to Understand Our Relationship

First, we took assessments to illuminate our strengths as a couple but also areas for growth. These included:

A communication styles quiz to understand how we each express ourselves and interpret others. My fiancé trended toward direct and logical communication while I was more abstract and emotional in communicating. Knowing these innate differences helped us avoid misunderstandings.

A relationship questionnaire on satisfaction across areas like intimacy, trust, support, social life, etc. This allowed us to call out areas we wanted to proactively strengthen.

Core values cards to rank our individual values and assess alignment. We discovered we had minor differences in prioritizing things like family, career, community, etc.

An assessment on how we each handle conflict – from avoidance to escalation. We landed in the middle but learned techniques to argue more constructively.

Discussing Key Topics

During our sessions, we also discussed major subjects that impact married life:

Managing finances – We devised a joint budget and savings goals that aligned to both our spending habits.

Intimacy – We opened up about our needs and expectations in this important area.

Having kids – We got on the same page about when to start a family.

Spiritual beliefs – We found alignment in our faith and values.

Leisure time – We planned ways to keep enjoying hobbies singly and together.

Building Skills for a Strong Marriage

Our counselor also equipped us with vital skills for a thriving marriage including:

  • Tackling issues early before resentment builds
  • Communicating needs calmly without blaming
  • Making ‘us’ time a priority no matter how busy
  • Responding rather than reacting to conflict
  • Being intentional about expressing appreciation
  • Assuming positive intent from one another
  • Practicing active listening and reflection
  • Compromising when disagreements happen
  • By practicing these techniques, we gained confidence for managing conflict in a healthy way.

Key Takeaways to Launch Our Marriage

While premarital counseling was invaluable, here were the biggest takeaways my fiancé and I brought into marriage:

  • Keep short accounts – never let little issues go unresolved
  • Make our relationship the top priority
  • Discuss roles and responsibilities openly, especially around housework and future childcare
  • Remain curious learners about each other always
  • Appreciate our differences just as much as our commonalities
  • Have shared financial priorities and goals
  • Communicate our changing needs as individuals and partners
  • Value connection through quality time, physical touch, acts of service and words of affirmation
  • Remember we’re on the same team, especially when disagreements happen
  • I’m so grateful we invested in premarital counseling. I really believe it gave us the best foundation possible for our marriage.

Tips for Picking a Premarital Counselor in Oklahoma

If you’re looking for premarital counseling in Oklahoma, here are my top tips for finding the right counselor:

  • Ask married friends and family for recommendations of counselors they really liked. Word of mouth is helpful.
  • Search for counselors who specialize in premarital counseling specifically. This niche expertise is ideal.
  • Look for licensed professionals like licensed marriage and family therapists (LMFT). This ensures proper qualifications.
  • Meet with potential counselors to make sure your personalities click. You want to feel comfortable opening up. https://www.lifelongweddingceremonies.com/ 
  • Consider religious beliefs and cultural background in choosing a counselor who aligns with yours. This helps you feel understood.
  • Think about location convenience and availability of evening and weekend appointments to accommodate work schedules.
  • Ask what assessments they use for premarital counseling. Look for comprehensive tools.
  • Check if your health insurance plan covers premarital counseling. This could lower your costs.

Inesting in Premarital Counseling Pays Off

Even though my fiancé and I had been together for years already, premarital counseling gave us so much value as we embarked on our marriage journey. I highly recommend couples consider counseling as you prepare to say “I do!” By equipping yourselves with skills, knowledge and a shared vision, you’ll be setting your marriage up for extraordinary success. Wishing you all the best as you take this wonderful next step together!