What exactly is a FemDom?

What exactly is a FemDom?

FemDom; what a term to read. FemDom, or Female Domination, can be something that people really enjoy or really are opposed to. Oftentimes when we talk about BDSM, we see the happily embraced idea of the dominant male, submissive female. FemDom takes this notion and shows us that women have the ability to dominate as well. FemDom is a lot more niche than other aspects of BDSM and can elicit very strong feelings on both sides. 

Why is the concept of FemDom so controversial?

Historically, women have been seen as the submissive partners, while men have been seen as the dominant partners. This cultural and social attitude towards women can really bring down the idea of women in power.

The attitude we see towards FemDom honestly comes from the way gender is viewed in society still. Traditionally accepted gender roles are still the predominant norm, and it can be extremely difficult to push past that. While society has become more progressive and open, some things just don’t change that easily. 

What History Tells Us About Female Domination

Honestly, until the 60’s, women were usually referred to as the fairer sex. This was a way to demean them, though that often goes unacknowledged. Women were primarily valued for their looks and ability to keep a home, not by their intelligence and ability to keep a clearer and calmer demeanor. In many ways, women were and still are considered inferior to men. The ability to have emotional intelligence was seen as a negative instead of something that could positively impact the world. 

On the other hand, men were portrayed as the strong, confident bread winners that had to lead in all aspects. Men were considered dominant in the bedroom, the household, the employment circle, and almost everywhere else. 

In fact, men were the only people able to vote legally until about 1918, after years of women suffragists. So essentially, historically we see that women and men are viewed and treated completely differently within society. Those attitudes have still been prevalent in modern day time, even with the feminist movement going strong. 

FemDom is viewed so derogatorily because society is still more comfortable seeing women in a place of submission, and men in a place of control. The thoughts and ideas of women being controlled and overpowered by men is often very sexually arousing for many. But FemDom allows women to use their power as an expression of liberation and power, and to please both herself and her consenting partner. This is contradictory to the modern day views that still stand that women must be pleased by submitting.

These attitudes even carry over to the sex toys that are bought to fulfill desires. For example, most BDSM equipment sold shows women modeling the restraints, sex whips and collars. This shows us that women are sales tools to the world, and enforces the idea that they are the ones that must be dominated. 

Image credit: https://www.vforvibes.com/product/sex-toy-box/

FemDoms make waves in society. Men who feel more submissive usually feel the need to hide that from the world, and even their partners, as they are afraid they’ll be looked at as a beta male. Alpha males are typically men who are dominant, whereas Beta males are looked at in an inferior way, as if they are weak and not in control. 

FemDoms are often spoken about with disdain, as if it is unnatural, and not ok. However, for many men who may feel more submissive, a FemDom can change their world. They are able to freely relinquish control to a dominant woman, and feel at their best. 

Males who are more submissive often feel ashamed for even identifying as submissives, and may feel degraded, unlovable, and unaccepted by society. 

Dominant women, or women in the roles of FemDoms, are able to control their natures and tailor their dominance to the male that she is with. FemDoms are not always in leather or latex! As with male dominants, they live normal lives. Some vanilla people and even stereotypical male dominants often mention feeling uncomfortable with FemDom content, and that seeing this makes them feel afraid! 

Conclusion

It has become apparent that for women, as long as they identify as a submissive female, it is acceptable to the world. It’s time to change this! Maybe the world isn’t ready to fully accept FemDoms - but we have to change it, as with everything. Everyone should be welcomed. If you are reading this as a FemDom, know that you are loved and appreciated. 


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