Being Fine With Who Is Staring Back at You: Learning To Be Secure in Your Looks

Being Fine With Who Is Staring Back at You: Learning To Be Secure in Your Looks

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We need to deal with the hand we are given. When we feel vulnerable or conscious of our appearance, it can have a major impact on our self-esteem. Sometimes we can experience those shocks where we realise that the person staring back at us from the mirror looks a lot older than we realised. While we can all try to focus on the positive qualities, the fact is we all have a preoccupation with our appearance. That's why we've got to feel more secure with our looks, not just for the opportunity to live a healthier life, but to turn our perceptions around. Let's show you some approaches, physical and mental, to start fixing these things.

Buy Clothes That Really Speak to You

Part of the problem we all have is purchasing items of clothes that we think will accentuate how we look, rather than how we feel about the thing itself. It's more important for us to start focusing on comfort. Part of the problem may be people thinking that comfort does not equate to sexiness, but when you start to feel more comfortable in yourself, this naturally means you exude that energy that will show the naysayers you are more than happy to be yourself. A lot of it is to do with that sense of comfort. Bras and lingerie can make us feel invisibly sexy and you can find a variety of full coverage bras available here to get started. But you should also remember that when you are looking for items of clothing, it should be your own sense of style based on how you feel deep within yourself.

Stop Stressing Out if You Feel You Look Bad

A lot of the problems we all have is that we agonise over making ourselves “perfect.” When we stress too much about our looks, surprise surprise, stress and anxiety begin to take their toll on our faces, resulting in crow's feet, wrinkles, and grey hair. It's not something that happens overnight, but if you looked at a picture of yourself from 6 years ago in comparison to now, and you've spent this entire time obsessing about your looks, you may find that gradually the signs of ageing began to creep in. 

So rather than having to learn how to be calm, the best place to begin is to look at the mirror and not feel that sense of dread. Desensitise yourself by actually looking in the mirror and starting to make note of the good things that you can see in yourself. So many people think that they can't see a single thing, but the reality is that we all have something ever so slightly that we can build upon. Very similar to a gratitude practice, start to look at three things in the mirror that you love about yourself every single day. The trick is in repeating it, because this is going to reinforce that connection between the mind and body that will begin to make you feel more secure with your looks.

Forget About Convention

One of the hardest things we've all had to endure through school and adult life is having to conform. But the fact is you are out of the schoolyard and you are your own person. You're not going to change people's ideas of what beauty is, but you can change your own conventions of what beauty really is. It takes time, but when you start to not give a damn about conventions or what is defined as beautiful, you can finally begin to appreciate what it is about yourself that's unique. There's a book called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck that can get you started in the right direction.

Go Makeup-Free

You don't have to go makeup-free forever, but the point is to start realising the parts of yourself that look absolutely fine without blusher and disguises. We need to give our skin the chance to breathe, and this can make a big difference in how we feel within ourselves. You might be wearing makeup that's too heavy, and when you cake it on, you’re not allowing your skin and pores the opportunity to actually replenish themselves. Start giving your body and skin the things they really need in the form of the right diet and you might see a massive difference, not just in how you look, but in how you feel in yourself.

The journey of feeling secure in our own looks can be a long one, however, it's something that we should all start with. The more comfortable we feel in ourselves, the less we're going to care about conventions and we finally going to start looking at ourselves in the mirror and saying “I am fine with who is staring back at me.”