How to Finally Get Out of the Friend Zone
Do you feel like you can't escape the friend zone 'curse'?
How many times have you been friend-zoned despite proving them you are great boyfriend/girlfriend material?
Being stuck in a friendship while dreaming of romance can be quite frustrating. Sometimes, this frustration is sexually motivated, and sometimes, it's emotionally-motivated. Either way, living in the friend zone can be mentally draining and fatal for your self-esteem.
That's why it's always best to know if there are chances for a future together or if they are just not that into you.
So, now that you are trying to negotiate your way out of the friend zone, here are a few steps to follow to make an easier transition from just friends to a happy couple.
- Stop Auditioning for a Relationship
This is a classic move of an experienced 'Friend-Zoner.' It's time to start observing your behavior when interacting with a person of interest.
Why are you trying so hard to check all of their boxes? What makes you think you know what they want and prefer in a partner?
Unfortunately, auditioning is a one-way ticket to the 'friend zone.' It prevents a real connection from happening, or at least it takes away the chance to see if there is any connection between the two of you to begin with.
When your main focus is to make them like you at any cost, you are stopping your true qualities from shining through.
Work on creating a connection without being afraid of being yourself. We all have different interests, goals, and even shortcomings that make us who we are. You can also learn how to tell your friend you like her.
- Show Less Interest
Every relationship is an exchange (emotional, energetic, social, etc.). We negotiate our way in & out of it, regardless of whether the final result is friendship or a romantic relationship.
When you are in the infamous 'friend zone,' you are already weighing in because you see more value in your connection.
Being hungry for love can make you look desperate and needy, especially if the other side doesn't share the same feelings. So, shift your focus onto yourself. Give them time and space. Show less interest in what they want and explore what makes you happy (besides them).
If there is more than friendship there, they will notice your absence!
- Become Less Available
You are probably doing so much for them already because of your desire to leave the 'friend zone.' Try to change that by taking a step back. Apply the scarcity principle — people take what they have for granted, and once they lose it, they want what they can't have anymore.
Of course, this can have two different outcomes. One, they will start missing you and probably reach out first. Two, you will figure out that there was never a chance for something more than a friendship.
Whichever the outcome, you should always be ready to accept the reality. That's how you practice self-love.
- Know Your Worth & Power
Stop being a doormat. Stop making it easy on them. If they are already getting what they want and need while not committing to you, why would they change anything? Would you if you were in their shoes?
Showing them you are worthy of being more than a friend won't make them change their mind. But proving you are ready to walk away and value yourself more than anything else just might.
Learn to say 'No' from time to time. It's good practice for your self-respect. Maybe they will notice that every relationship is a two-way street and help you find the way out of the friend zone together.
- Make Them Invest Themselves More
Ask your friend to do you a few favors. It doesn't have to be anything major, just something that will make them more engaged in your relationship. Ask them to give you a ride, bring you food when they come over, fix something for you, etc.
Contrary to conventional wisdom, people will like you better if they help you, rather than if you do favors to them. The explanation for this lies in cognitive dissonance or 'the Ben Franklin Effect.'
The more they invest themselves in your potential relationship, the more they will start valuing it. Of course, it's a great idea to reward their efforts and show gratitude. After all, we all like to be appreciated.
And, this is how you leave the friend zone. Sometimes, a little risk is worth taking, but there is no need to feel disheartened if it doesn't pay off. Knowing where you stand will help you figure out your next move - either out of the friend zone or out of this one-sided relationship.
For more relationship advice head up to Kristy's Blog Loving-Community.com.