Are You Ready to Start Dating for Marriage? Here's How You Know
There is a big difference between dating for fun and dating for marriage. The difference is all in your intent. Are you looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with or are you looking for someone to pass the time with? While dating for fun is easy, looking for someone to marry is a bit more serious. That's why there are some important questions you need to ask yourself before you start dating with marriage as your intent.
Do You Love Yourself?
There is a saying that goes, "You can't really love someone else until you learn to love yourself." A similar saying implies that "Until you love yourself, no one will love you." Both of these statements are untrue and can be damaging to the people who hear them. While you can love others and others can love you before you love yourself, being able to love yourself will make you more open to love and can make your love towards others feel more genuine.
It can be hard in the beginning, but try to do things for yourself. Boosting your self-esteem is one way to learn how to love yourself. Even if you don't believe it at first, simply telling yourself, "I am worthy of love," can help. Over time, you will believe what you say, which can boost your self-esteem. Once you feel confident in your worth, try browsing matchmaking services and look for anyone that sparks your interest.
Are you happy with your body? If not, try to do what you can to improve yourself. However, don't rely on the media or others for validation. Be happy with your progress because you like what you see, not because others like what they see. Along with physical health, it is important that you are in good mental health before you seek a life partner. If needed, see a therapist to work out any underlying issues that may get in your way of bettering yourself and finding a stable loving relationship.
Do You Have Good Communication Skills?
While the other sayings above have no merit, the saying, "Communication is key," definitely does. Talking is only a small part of communication. Listening and watching for body language and other social cues make up an even larger portion. When talking to anyone (not just romantic partners) make sure to listen carefully. If you do not understand what someone is saying, whether because you misheard or because you don't understand what they meant, make sure to ask. It is always better to ask questions than to assume incorrectly.
Another way to improve the way you communicate with others, both verbally and with body language, is to simply ask for feedback. While this may feel a bit silly outside of a communications class, it can be helpful. To do this, ask your friends and family members what they think you can do to improve your communication skills. You may find out that your speech is vague or sometimes passive-aggressive. Learning more about yourself is the best way to learn how to improve yourself.
Are Exes a Problem?
Most adults have exes. Many adults still have their exes in their lives as friends; this is not a bad thing. What can interfere with your future plans for marriage is if your exes are still in your life in a negative way or if you still have feelings for your exes. After all, it is unfair to enter into a new romantic relationship if you still have feelings for a past partner.
At the same time, it is important to be able to talk about your exes with friends and even new partners. Whether for better or worse, your exes helped to shape you into the person you are today. You should be able to talk about them with minimal jealousy from a potential partner. A healthy partner will be understanding and kind.
Marriage is one of the biggest commitments a person can make. It is important to make sure that you are ready. Before you even ask someone on a date, make sure to ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly.