It’s 2016 and my socials sites are stacked high with all these “resolutions”, and I can’t help but feel that simply because a new chapter has begun, and we all are motivated to try new things, or cut out bad habits, we should all be moving forward each day instead of each year?
I previously succumbed to a yearly list of things I would change about myself, till it struck me one day this fantasy world I lived in, (usually in January) would only exist because other people were making resolutions, and perhaps the only true way to change for good was to make small and subtle lifestyle changes, instead of changing because other people should tell me to because of the month.
2015 was the year I finally learnt to accept who I was!
Although a lot of people seem to think I live in a colourful world full of excitement and adventure. I too live like other people, and we seem to forget when someone’s life is so well broadcasted online about all the things in between the Instagram posts and Facebook statuses. The daily struggles of life apply to us all, and by changing day to day life we slowly but surely seek to improve at a better rate, than just making a regimented list of things to change, that usually phases out by February.
The last thing I want is to see other people suffer in anxiety, and lost hope because they see the luxurious lives of others in hope they can aspire to a perfect existence. Because frankly I don’t think it exists, but fine balance and compromisation does however exist.
To have a better understand of where the root of where my thoughts come from, and I’ll just lay me out as a person in one paragraph (if that could ever be possible!)
I’m a creative being, and a true creative is a constant perfectionist. We’re constant critics to ourselves and our worst demons. As I’m very rarely happy with a set of photographs I take on shoots. I look at paintings I’ve taken years to “finish” to only go back in and improve certain aspects.
I used to constantly compare myself to people who I thought were my role models, when I should have been busy getting on with my own path of life, and to make myself my own role model, and be the best person I can be.
I’ve only come to understand my appearance when previously looking at another girls nose would be a small obsession of mine was to look like someone I could never look like.
Accepting yourself is vitally important!
I’ve accepted the quirks of my own body, face and personality and realised that this is me, and whether people enjoy that or not it’s for my own self love, that I must accept myself more importantly than anyone else. Since I live in my own body and personality, I should own everything I represent from the freckles, to my scars, to the little differences each human has instead of seeing them as a flaw.
Previously I hated that my body was curvy, but hated it when I was stupidly skinny and was forced to put on weight. My body and face is a formulation of my families genetics, my exercise (of lack of) and diet. I believed having a strange double hip because of my bone structure was a flaw when it’s actually a blessing, and natures ease for the day I give birth. My negligence to getting braces in fear of being a brace face like everyone else in high school, has left me with slightly crooked teeth but now I smile more because I like the way its shaped my jaw and cheekbones. It’s compromising little resolutions I would have fixed throughout the year to make me feel temporarily happy.
I hated that being shy, quiet, reserved and overly emotional made me different, but it made me a great listener, more sympathetic and have a emotional connection with things/people. Growing up I’ve stayed the same because I don’t think you fundamentally ever change, and that I embrace being slightly more soppier than some, but it means I see beauty in a lot of things. It’s simply changing yourself into a half-full glass kind of person.
Subtle differences between you and me that make us all beautiful that we should embrace!
Now I see myself as a character from a book that if someone were to describe me, I would sound unique and interesting, and not anything like another person. I don’t like the idea of someone wanting to look exactly like me. Hence why the celebrations of quirks is upmost, stay original and unique.
I’ve finally accepted this perfectionist attitude, and instead of seeing the negatives I see it as part of my personality as a good trait as someone who wants to move forward daily, instead of yearly.
If I made all my major decisions on January 1st I’d give myself a headache over the overwhelming responsibility I’d give myself. So space out all the little things you do really want to change, and see life long benefits. No one ever lost weight immediately, no one ever fully quit smoking or drinking over night, as to successfully quit is to incorporate lifestyle changes for good. When I think of the word ‘diet’ I think of this as a negative word, because it feels temporary but a lifestyle change is permanent and more likely to last.
I know this targets mainly body image but this is purely from the majority of ‘resolutions’ I see every January.
I read so much particularly about women who go through the same thought process as me, and wanted to give each person the lengthiest paragraph that they need to believe in who they are. Thinspo is a lie. If we look back on our life within the split second it’s taken us to get old, and missed out on exciting things like running round the beach in a bikini, because we were too body conscious we miss out on everlasting memories that define who we are. So please don’t get caught up in the image of others and learn to love yourself and have some fun without the fear of judgement.
Personally I think it all feeds into new years resolutions, and not our daily decisions to make good choices. So what I mean to say is that we should do things because we want to, and not because we should have to.
The principal of resolutions is revolutionary, inspirational and motivating because it keeps us ticking and constantly looking forward. So please don’t get the wrong impression as this post is not trying to tell you that eating an extra slice of cake is good, but neither is depriving yourself of what your body craves. It is all compromisation, alternation, and just refining your mind to make better daily choices. As I believe they’re far more beneficial than chunking off all the negatives in your life simply because a year has ticked over.
I know this is a lengthly post, but I felt the need to vent, and give people out there some perspective on how making smaller choices over the year can be more important, than tackling big challenges.
More importantly than this, love yourself for who you are, and if changes do need to be made be realistic with your goals!
Have the best 2016 and make each day count!