ARE YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FOR YOU?

I’ve spent so many years meeting new people, trying to be accepted, I’ve been excluded and just when you think you’ve got the balance sussed when you grow up you’re hounded with jealous remarks, sly digs and playground skirmish antics. Childish right? Today I want to hit on the subject of friendship and what real friends should be like.

Stephi LaReine Are Your Friends Good For You?

I hate bitchyness. I hate that its always going to be around no matter how much we all fight for being calm as a hindu cow. I thought it would stop after high school. When you’re grown up you would think people fall out of bad habits and just get on with their own lives.

Which is the underlying issue. Are you or people around you getting on with your life?

Summer of friendship

It’s really sad to say this but I think I’ve lost some friends since people have started to take me more serious. I’m not there to joke around at house parties with my unlimited free time and not really be productive. When now I’m an outsider “the girl who moved on” I’ve had comments saying I’m better than them because I’m trying to shimmy my way out of Liverpool one step at a time and see the world. What’s so wrong with that?

Anywhom the point I’m making is that friends who hold you back from what you believe in do you absolutely no good at all. Bullying is still a very real thing in this day and age, and you don’t have to be a child in a playground for it to happen to you.

If I could revisit my high school years to when I was severely bullied I wouldn’t of hung around with people who actually had no interest in being my friend, benefitting my aspirations or leading a mutual friendship. I know I’m not the only one this happens to and I really hope you see what I didn’t see at the time. 

I was a doormat, and a sympathetic ear to bitching and moaning and watched the same two-faced girls bum off each other. I don’t do two-faced. I don’t understand it. Why waste your time getting to know someone who you clearly have no interest in? 

Would Chanel Do it?

I don’t want other girls going through a horrible experience and jeopordising their education, something thats so underrated, that some kids don’t have.

I stayed off school, like a lot. I got upset because facing the people who I thought were my friends terrified the life out of me. You shouldn’t be scared of your friends.

It’s unfortunately a learning curve to every experience, and you learn so much about people when you’ve seen each end of the scale. Everyone needs a friend, but make sure they want you for the right reasons. I wish when I was younger I was as confident as I am now to stand up for myself and face being lonely or with few friends over ones that wouldn’t be as nice.

Over the past year or so I’ve been filtering out people who I know do me no good. Mentally ticking and crossing people for how they’ve treated me. Getting rid of people who only want to know me after I’ve necked a few drinks back and need money. Or people who tell me my passions and dreams are stupid, unrealistic or not ‘proper’. Friends support you in everything you do.

stephi lareine patrick mcguinness jake marley cal ruddy

The message I want you to take away with you is that no matter who you are, nothing stops you from saying ‘No, you’re not good for me’ so don’t waste time on people who take no real interest in loving you entirely and supporting you night and day.

They say if by the time you’re old you can count all your friends on one hand you’ve done well for yourself. A handful can be your crew, or squad but as long as everyone is looking after each other you know you’re set up for life. 

You know a good friend doesn’t have to wait up on your text or call or demand your time for a coffee, you both know you’ll get round to it eventually and when you do it’ll feel like no time has passed at all.

stephi lareine patrick mcguinness smedge

For once be a little selfish about who you surround yourself by, and hold onto everyone that pushes you to do the next best thing and that you’ve shared your best memories with.

I know I have a lot of teenage girls who read this, and email in all the time about confidence issues, low self esteem and damaged drive from a naughty devil telling them to stop being who they are, it’s quite remarkable how we all share the same path and fall into the same potholes. I say screw them, what good are they for you?

Don’t let people hold you back from anything you want and be willing to sacrifice people, but most of all be brave in everything you do!

What’s your opinion on friendship, what should friends do for you?

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6 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    September 17, 2015 / 8:14 am

    such an inspiration post for anyone ever bullied!

  2. September 17, 2015 / 9:34 am

    you're absolutely right, first of all, it's about YOU, what you want/need in your life. don't adjust for anyone, been there, done that. this is not being selfish, this is being true to yourself!
    have a lovely day 🙂

  3. September 17, 2015 / 5:07 pm

    I couldn't agree more with the points you made here Stephi, you need to do you. There will always be someone who will find something negative to say and unfortunately sometimes it's the people we least expect. I did a post on friendship not too long ago, on how I could be a better friend myself because I noticed I was given too much time to the not so good ones.

    I've digressed a bit, but love the post!

    Nadine | http://www.flourishingpetal.com

    xo

  4. September 17, 2015 / 9:55 pm

    How sad that some people never overcome their narrow-minded high school pettiness. More open-mindedness and acceptance would make the world a much better place to live in. I have to admit I struggle with resentment over being bullied. I like your idea of leaving those who's forte is destructive criticism behind. It's also nice to have friends who can understand, listen and identify or sympathise. and who are positive.
    I love your hair – it's beautiful! Your makeup is pretty as well.

    http://www.full-brief-panties.blogspot.com/2015/09/fbloggers-lingerie-haul-excuses-old.html

  5. September 19, 2015 / 7:04 pm

    Lovely post! It's never selfish to cut negative people out of your life. I've done it myself and it is so comforting to know that the friends in my life now are truly there for me.

    Claire // Technicolour Dreamer

  6. September 20, 2015 / 10:29 am

    What an inspiring post! I was going to make a post similar to this years ago but I left it in fear and worry that the people I was talking about would see what I was saying about them and then shit would hit the fan!

    But just before I met my boyfriend over two years ago I had a huge group of friends, but they had bad habits and it was passing onto me. I didn't want to be that person anymore. I didn't want to be a pathetic single 20 something year old who just got drunk and high most days of the week and all weekend. I wanted to do something, so I did. I stopped hanging out with those people, met my boyfriend and became friends with his friends who are all lovely!

    I'm glad I dropped those people. They probably still do all the things they did years ago and it makes me feel better that I escaped it.

    https://theremightbecoffee.wordpress.com/

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