GAINING BIKINI CONFIDENCE

Some people wait their entire lives to be comfortable in their own body, some own it from the beginning. As a girl in modern day society surrounded by insta-hotties and models in magazines you get caught in false perspective, I’m teaching women to love themselves and their bodies so they can hit the beaches with their heads held high!

Stephi LaReine Bikini

I feel that women get self esteem and self confidence mixed up, that to love themselves and their bodies is to be vain, arrogant and pitiful when loving yourself should be natural, almost a default human emotion, to love yourself from the start.

How To Feel Confident In a Bikini

For years I’ve been troubled with body confidence and I’m gonna share a little secret… this is actually the first bikini photos I’ve ever put on the internet!

(you probably didn’t expect that from a someone who feels confident enough to write a whole post on it!) 

Red Velvet Mirrored RayBans

But that’s because I’ve not always been this way and in fact I feel like it’s been an incredibly quick change of mind, every since the beginning of summer. 

I remember for years I couldn’t look at my body in the mirror, clothed or not…I just wasn’t happy with what I saw, and I guess I should have hit the gym to make a change (should I have to?!) I was so incredibly thankful that my parents pool was indoors so no one could see me. But I eat an incredibly healthy diet and walk absolutely everywhere, and even jogged for god knows how long! But why on earth was I so unhappy, when underneath clothes I was made this way?

Sometimes it’s not weight, or being toned, it’s just skin…and it’s your skin and it’s on show for the world to prey and judge. So regardless of whether you’ve got a banging bod, I know some women feel incredibly uncomfortable in themselves wearing a bikini no matter what they look like. 

Insecurity is an absolute bummer. I’ll tell you why I was unhappy and how I fixed that. 

Lifestyle Blogger Stephi LaReine

I’m big, maybe not in a sense of what people might think is big, but for 5″11 I’m taller, heavier boned and built to fit in proportion with my height and sometimes I need to remember that when I look down at my thighs they’re a bit bigger than the girl next to me who’s 5″4 because I’m taller and can afford to be bigger… or I’ll fall over like a lollipop.

My weight journey was never easy, at 13 I went on the pill, that didn’t work, so I had the coil and that didn’t work either, so my hormones are whizzing around like fireworks and weight fluctuates as one moment you’re eating a stick of celery and next cake all day everyday and crying, lots of crying.

 So I’ve swayed between a size 4 to a size 12. 

Women certainly suffer when it comes to contraception. It’s literally taken me to the age of 21 to sort out the mess contraception has done. Choose wisely girlies.

Rainbow Hair Blogger Stephi LaReine

Another reason why I was never seen in a bikini is because I used to cry and get upset when girls called me thin because I was tall, lanky and angular which in the eyes of magazines today is what models aspire to be, and I was shamed for it, and yes being called skinny can hurt as much as being called fat because at the time I wanted boobs, a bum and hips like girls a few years older had. 

Now I’ve become more womanly I’m judged for my boobs looking too big in a top or my thighs touching. So how did I win and find beauty?

Gaining Bikini Confidence

I found out that beauty is what I make it, and not what other people told me. That growing to love myself before anyone can, I can be truly happy and throw one massive finger up to the world that shamed me for not conforming to what society told me.

 It’s saying screw the girls who told me I was too skinny, screw the magazines that tell me I’m a whale. Accept your body the way that it is, because it’s you and you’ve made it that way, not anyone else.

South Beach Bikinis

Beauty is comfort. 

Beauty is sanctuary. 

Beauty is being mindful that your body already does incredible things every day like move and carry a child for 9 moths, and there’s so many important things to be getting on with like achieving goals and having fun lasting memories instead of wallowing in self pity over what others may/may not think of you.

The Treasure Chest Accessories Sunflower Bikini

Maybe I’m not as hot as the girls on Instagram but I sure am happy with who I am and know how to have fun.

Judge me for looking the way I do because I won’t let anyones opinion get in the way of what I want to do! If that’s go to the beach, go swimming or stroll around half nakey in a hot country you can’t take away being happy and comfortable.

learning how to be confident with your body

Another way of feeling confident in a bikini is owning the right bikini (but more importantly you should be checklisting that you’ve become mindful of how fabulous and womanly you are!) and secondly choosing something to compliment you and all that sassiness. 

There’s no good choosing two sizes too small just so you can say you’re fitting into a silly irrelevant size. Pah! Be realistic and just pick the right size no matter how big or small it is, numbers are stupid it’s you that matters!

The Treasure Chest Accessories

I’m wearing two different types of swimwear here, my sunflower bikini from The Treasure Chest Accessories and black body mesh panel swimsuit from South Beach

I feel comfortable in swimsuits when swimming from hearing too many horror stories of knickers flying off mid doggy paddle and whilst sunbathing I prefer bikini tops with detachable straps to stop tan lines. 

Either way every girl has their taste and something that makes them feel extra lovely about themselves and plays a mahoooosive part in feeling excellent when strolling down the beach!

Rainbow Hair

I’ve been informing girls about the myth that black makes you slimmer is actually a lie. Whilst it might feel the most covered, I feel having a dark bikini for the purposes of ‘slimming’ is total twaddle, Pick colours, styles, shapes and materials because you like them and you’re not just sticking to safe options. 

Sunflower Bikini

I hope you’re all feeling pumped and ready to dash to the beaches but I’ll leave you with some last tips so you never forget how incredible you and your body is…

Not caring about what people think

STAY POSITIVE

It’s only you that can love yourself and always think of all the amazing things you’ve done and achieved by facing your fears and making you a better person, stepping out in a bikini is one of them!

Stephi LaReine advice on summer body confidence

STAND UP STRAIGHT

Good posture gives you a great body so remember how great you look when you hold yourself properly, flamingos are tall and beautiful and never slouch!

learning to love yourself

LOVE YOURSELF TODAY

And not tomorrow or the day after that. 

Love every inch of yourself from the weird indent in your hips (yes I still don’t understand why my bones do that either) or your crooked smile, sometimes the things you don’t like are the things people find beauty in. I don’t want to be built like a Barbie. (Barbie can’t stand up for starters.)

One day your body won’t be as preserved and you’ll wonder why you had all those silly thoughts when you could of gone to the beach instead of staying in, or worn that beautiful dress that actually compliments your figure.

Stephi LaReine Flamingo



As I always say…be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons! 

How does everyone feel about themselves and their bodies?

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13 Comments

  1. August 14, 2015 / 7:10 am

    what a great post, straight from the heart. I always imagine, looking back to myself now and feel like: I limited myself because of the way I look? come on! rock yourself 🙂

  2. Anonymous
    August 14, 2015 / 7:59 am

    this was such an inspirational post!

  3. Anonymous
    August 14, 2015 / 12:27 pm

    amazing

  4. Amy
    August 14, 2015 / 12:55 pm

    I know so many women who can't face up to even leaving the house without weaing head to toe clothes for the beach so I hope this can be passed on so many people realise our bodies are just skin and no matter what size we are we're entitled to have fun in a bikini like the next person

    you've got a really nice figure and it certainly compliments your height it's nice to see a tall girl talking about perspective next to others as I always were upset over being 5 foot 7 when my friends were midgets ahaaa!

    Amy xoxox

  5. August 14, 2015 / 3:39 pm

    I have to say you look totally banging in a bikini by any standards! I can definitely relate to the struggle you went through. For a good ten years of my life I wouldn't be seen in a swimsuit in public. Eventually I just stopped caring and started wearing whatever I wanted. It feels good xx

    The Persephone Complex

  6. August 14, 2015 / 4:42 pm

    This is such an amazing post! Your figure is lovely!

    amydoll.co.uk
    xx

  7. Terry W
    August 14, 2015 / 4:43 pm

    so important for young women to learn this, what a great post! XXX

  8. August 14, 2015 / 9:42 pm

    These photos are amazing, YOU are amazing. Thank you so much for writing this. It took me years to realise that my body is great; that all bodies are great. Well done for posting this. The only thing that saddens me about this is that so few people would have your confidence and it should not be that way! I bet this post has helped and encouraged so many people. You're perf.

    Hetty x

  9. August 15, 2015 / 7:10 pm

    You look fantastic in your Treasure Chest Sunflower Bikini! I also love your makeup and the rainbow of colours in your hair. The tenth photo is my favourite – you really do look fabulous!

    my Blog | my YouTube | my Twitter

  10. August 15, 2015 / 7:56 pm

    This is such a good post, and so lovely of you to do! It's so hard to love yourself, but the more women talk openly about it, the more I think it will help younger girls who are struggling with feelings like that. I'm so happy for you that you've reached a point where you feel comfortable!! I wish I could say the same, but I'll get there. 🙂 Also, your hair is absolutely gorgeous!

    xx Alyssa — fragments of memories

  11. August 17, 2015 / 6:53 pm

    The body confidence debate can be a really tricky one in terms of offending people, but this is so well worded and inspiring.I agree with everything you said, the bottom line is that beautiful is being healthy and happy in the skin you are in.

    http://whatdoesmelthink.blogspot.com/

  12. September 13, 2015 / 12:22 am

    Thank you so much for sharing this. Body confidence & self-esteem are really imperative in a world where people can be so critical, especially for those in the public eye. You look utterly amazing. Beautiful. Confident. Stunning. :]

    // ▲ itsCarmen.com ▲

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