I’m about to write some things online my family and close friends probably do not know I do, yet I feel free enough to tell the rest of the accessible world, feel free to judge, but I’m probably gonna guess most of you do this too…if you don’t you honestly are missing out, or you feel comfortable enough to do it in front of anyone and everyone, you have no shame and well bloody done to you!
Walk around naked
If you haven’t tried it enlighten yourself that one cannot truly be free of the troubles and strives of life until you’ve painted, cooked, hoovered, sat on the internet and lounged around in positively nothing. If you’re in the misfortune of never trying it start off by warming up with simply no pants before you go full domestic nude.
Try on everything in your wardrobe
~Inserts cheesy 90’s chick flick montage~
After a few hours of being naked, the impulse to put everything on comes in, you become your own catwalk, your own girly 90’s film. I will squeeze into everything, those clothes you don’t wear anymore, haven’t worn in public because you cannot find an occasion, yes that gets worn in the privacy of my own company, Why do you do it? Simply because you can.
Try out all your beauty products
You know the ritual, dark green face mask on, toe separators, every neon colour nail varnish with remover to your side when it’s dried 10 minutes later. Coconut oil hair treatment that looks like you haven’t heard of shampoo. Vaseline on your eyebrows and eyelashes for length. The ugly side of a beauty regime that I wouldn’t dare show anyone comes out from nowhere, I pray a parcel doesn’t show or a friend comes to visit when I have these days.
Talk to a pet
I talk to my cat Mia…alot, I don’t have full on conversations but I like to think she can hear and understand some jibberish that comes out my mouth. I don’t swerve talking to her when in the presence of others, but in private when no one is there nor with anyone to talk to it’s normal to say things in a funny voice right?
Leave the bathroom door open
Having a bath, on the toilet, generally functioning in a bathroom we stereotypically close the door, and behind those closed, perhaps even locked doors we can be whomever, we are at our most vulnerable in the bathroom to showing who we are and somehow us human beings get satisfaction almost as an act of rebellion against societies rules of acceptability, we can have a bath knowing no one can see us.
Nothing at all
Sometimes it’s luxurious taking comfort in being lost in your own thoughts, staring into the abyss of nothing, for it’s human to think, sit as still as we like, sloth out from the chores of this universe to simply halt.
Sing at a ultra loud volume
Not even I can justify how terrible my singing voice is, I don’t need the world to tell me just how god awful it really is, I don’t sing in the bath or shower like everyone else where the acoustics are at their finest, I like to yell it from the rooftops and run into every room singing Shake It Out – Florence and the Machine like I can hit every high note, but in reality could shatter every window with the ungodly sounds I make. The second I remember my neighbors are very old and very close by, I recluse and never utter another word. ever. again.
Watch guilty pleasure movies
I have a soft spot for rom-coms and musicals (apply every musical song to the point above) like I imagine every woman to. I’m a Bridget Jones fanatic, and often believe I am her but whom found her Mr Darcy a lot earlier than others, but I probably won’t admit that in public I’ve watched Moulin Rouge a thousand times over and know every word in the script. No one in my family would dare let me watch 10 Things I Hate About You or Clueless or The Aristocats in their company, and I don’t expect them to unless they know what they’re in for. Occasionally I’ll indulge in a horror movie to realize 10 minutes in it’s probably the worst mistake I will ever make, but it’s too late to turn back.
This is one of my earliest memories in life, applicable now more so because I was never home alone as a child but as an infant when I was alone I would re-arrange everything including furniture…yeah that bunk bed and wardrobe you find hard to move, I’d find a way by the time I was called for dinner. Interior design called my name from an early age, a career path I could of pursued with my magical ways.
As an adult of almost 20 I still find love in changing the house around if the mood strikes me.
Make the most extravagant and bizarre meals
In the house of LaReine, these are called ‘throw together’s’ we take pride in our cooking more than anyone ever could, But only I can make a fruit smoothie that has avocado, spinach, kale, mango, pineapple, blueberries, cinnamon, ginger and cayenne pepper and make it taste good, in conjunction with salmon and apple on dark ryvitas on the side. No I’m not insane they taste brilliant and I would recommend it and there is probably a recipe somewhere in some country that their national dish is scrambled egg and peanut butter.
To conclude, it’s almost refreshing writing this, freedom from telling the world about my odd lonely habits, I can only pray you do some of the things I do and none of you call a mental home on my behalf
What things do you do when you’re home alone?